What Role Should Parents Play in the College Application Process?

We hope we’ve convinced you that helicopter parenting is not the best way to prepare your child (really young adult!) for life after high school. Still, you might be wondering what that means when it comes to helping them through the immensely complicated and stress-inducing college application process. College is the first phase of adult life, which means this is the perfect time for you to step back and allow your child to make decisions (and even mistakes) that will build their confidence in their ability to manage their own life. Your role is to guide and encourage, not micromanage.

Defining Parents’ Role in the College Application Process

1. Help set a timeline. And then step back. You can offer gentle reminders about due dates, but you should make it clear from the outset that your student is responsible for meeting deadlines for letters of recommendation and all other components of the application.
2. Offer guidance, not answers. Let your student lead the way when it comes to choosing schools. You can, of course, offer an opinion, but don’t take it upon yourself to make the final list of where to apply. Try not to be disappointed if their list doesn’t include your alma mater!
3. Encourage independence. If you or your student has a question about a school, have them make the call to the admissions office or financial aid office. They should be comfortable interacting with adults in this manner because they will be expected to do so once they are on campus. Your student should be the contact for all communication with the school and should take the lead on college visits and informational tours.
4. Be open. Your student is likely to have many thoughts about leaving home, ranging from excitement to fear. Don’t make them feel guilty if they are excited to leave home, and don’t make them feel weak for feeling fearful. Both emotions are completely normal (and are likely to fluctuate back and forth).

The more you can do senior year to encourage independence and give your son or daughter confidence in their ability to manage their life, the better they will do. It can be hard to push them towards independence, especially when it feels like your last chance to do some serious parenting, but think of it as a great practice year.

If you’re still struggling to figure out where to step in and where to hold back, our college counselors can help you make a plan that will ease the pressure on everyone. Contact us at info@eliteacademics.com or 720-216-2222 to make an appointment.